WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?
Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, or psychological. It includes any behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound someone.
Domestic violence can happen to anyone regardless of race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels. Domestic violence occurs in both opposite-sex and same-sex relationships and can happen to intimate partners who are married, living together, or dating.
Hitting, slapping, shoving, grabbing, pinching, biting, and hair pulling are types of physical abuse. Physical abuse also includes denying a partner medical care or forcing alcohol or drug use upon him or her.
You may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner has ever...
- Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).
- Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you.
- Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
- Scared you by driving recklessly.
- Used a weapon to threaten or hurt you.
- Forced you to leave your home.
- Trapped you in your home or kept you from leaving.
- Prevented you from calling the police or seeking medical attention.
- Hurt your children.
- Used physical force in sexual situations.
Coercing or attempting to coerce any sexual contact or behavior without consent is sexual abuse. Sexual abuse includes, but not limited to, marital rape, attacks on sexual parts of the body, forcing sex after physical violence has occurred or treating one in a sexually demeaning manner.
Undermining an individual's sense of self-worth or self-esteem is abusive. It may include, but is not limited to constant criticism, diminishing one's abilities, name-calling, or damaging one's relationship with his or her children.
You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner...
- Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you.
- Does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive.
- Tries to isolate you from family or friends.
- Monitors where you go, who you call, and who you spend time with.
- Controls finances or refuses to share money.
- Punishes you by withholding affection.
- Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets.
Making or attempting to make an individual financially dependent by maintaining total control over financial resources, withholding one's access to money, or forbidding one's attendance at school or employment.
Causing fear by intimidation; threatening physical harm to self, partner, children, or partner's family or friends; destruction of pets and property; and forcing isolation from family, friends, or school or work are all examples of psychological abuse.
Domestic violence not only affects those who are abused but also has a substantial effect on family members, friends, co-workers, other witnesses, and the community at large. Children who grow up witnessing domestic violence are among those seriously affected by this crime. Frequent exposure to violence in the home not only predisposes children to numerous social and physical problems but also teaches them that violence is a normal way of life, therefore, increasing their risk of becoming society's next generation of victims and abusers.
Family Advocacy Program Services
The U.S. Army Family Advocacy Program (FAP) supports Sailors and families living in the Republic of Korea by providing case management, intervention, and treatment to help strengthen the relationships of Navy families. They are also dedicated to the prevention of child and domestic abuse and neglect of Sailors and their beneficiaries.
Victim Advocacy Program (VAP) services are also available through U.S. Army FAP. They provide emergency and follow-up support services to adult victims of domestic abuse. Advocacy services are available to service members, their current or former spouses, an individual with whom the service member shares a child, and significant others of service members who live together. Their services are available twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
Army VAP trained professionals are available for crisis response, information on reporting options, medical treatment options, law enforcement’s response, emergency services, safety planning, obtaining military and civilian protective orders, and accompaniment to medical forensic exams and medical appointments, as well as accompaniment to court for orders of protection hearings and trials. Advocates work closely with their civilian counterparts and ensure a personal and smooth transition for victims who do not qualify for ongoing advocacy services within the military community.
The Navy and Army are fully committed to ensuring victims of domestic abuse are protected; treated with dignity and respect; and provided support, advocacy, and care. The Army and Navy both strongly supports effective command awareness and prevention programs and holding offenders accountable.
There are two types of reporting options: Restricted Reporting and Unrestricted Reporting. Personnel should report all suspected cases of child and domestic abuse promptly, which quickly activates victim services and accountability actions. However, we understand things might not always work that way. Victims might need medical attention or victim services without command or a law enforcement response. Therefore, the Army and Navy both offer a Restricted Reporting Option for victims to confidentially disclose allegations of abuse and receive necessary medical treatment and services. Restricted Reporting is not available for victims of child abuse.
Restricted Reporting allows someone who meets VAP criteria and is experiencing violence in his/her relationship to confidentially disclose the abuse to a Victim Advocate, a Victim Advocate Supervisor, Family Advocacy Case Manager, or a Healthcare Provider. When an individual chooses a restricted report, law enforcement is not involved, and there is no investigation of the abuse. Also, the Sailor’s Command is not notified of the abuse and is unable to offer assistance and protection.
The restricted reporting option allows an individual to receive medical treatment, advocacy services, clinical counseling, and pastoral counseling. This option allows one to obtain needed services, control the release of his/her personal information, and time to consider his/her options.
Under this reporting option, the offender is not held accountable, and the abuse may continue. If an assessment reveals a high risk for future injury, a restricted report may not be granted.
Victims of domestic abuse who want to pursue an official investigation of an incident should report the abuse to law enforcement, the Family Advocacy Program, or the alleged offender’s Commanding Officer. The unrestricted reporting option provides a victim with the broadest array of services available including but not limited to command involvement, law enforcement involvement, medical treatment, advocacy services, and counseling services.
A violent relationship puts you and your children at risk for injury and even death. Developing a safety plan tailored to meet the needs of your family will enable you to get out of a potentially dangerous situation. If your children are old enough, mature enough, or even responsible enough to assist you during a violent or potentially violent episode of domestic abuse, you may consider including them in your plan to keep everyone safe. A good safety plan considers which steps to take if you choose to stay in the relationship or if you choose to leave.
Here are some tips during the explosive phase of domestic abuse:
- Move to a room with easy access to an exit. Don't go to the kitchen, bathroom or near possible weapons.
- Know the quickest route out of your home or workplace. Practice escaping that way.
- Pack a bag and have it ready. Include important documents. Keep it hidden but easy to grab quickly.
- Tell your neighbors about your abuse and ask them to call the police when they hear a disturbance.
- Have a code word to use with your kids, family, and friends. They will know to call the police and get you help.
- Know where you are going to go if you ever have to leave.
Develop a Safety Plan
Not all incidents of domestic abuse are the same, and each person who experiences domestic abuse handles the situation differently. If you or someone you know needs help to a, please call or visit
- U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at 001-1-800-799-7233
- U.S. Army Family Violence Hotline
- DSN 153 or 315-764-5997
- COMM: 0503-364-5997
- U.S. Army Family Advocacy Program
- DSN: 315-768-8129
- COMM: 0503-368-8129
- Military OneSource at 00-800-3429-6477
- Korea Women's Hotline